Understanding Grief
There is nothing about grief that is ordinary and every single person will experience it in different ways, and for a different duration of time. What you need to know right now is that it is all OK. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find you are struggling and feel that you need more help, we do have other resources for you at the funeral home. Please call us or your local bereavement society for more information.
Grief: General
These thoughtful articles provide guidance and direction for anyone touched by grief.
Helping Yourself with Grief
Someone you love has died. You are now faced with the difficult, but important, need to mourn. Mourning is the open expression of your thoughts and feelings regarding the death and the person who died. It is an essential part of healing. The following articles provide many practical suggestions to help you move toward healing in your unique grief journey.
- What’s Your Love Language
- Teeter-Totter of Resilience and Vulnerability in Grief
- You Must Say Hello Before You Say Goodbye
- You Must Make Friends with the Darkness Before You Can Enter the Light
- You Must Go Backward Before You Can Go Forward
- Mustering the Courage to Mourn
- Love and Grief: In Communion and Greater Than the Sum of Their Parts
- Will I Befriend My Feelings Or Will I Deny Them
- Will I Grieve or Will I Mourn
- Helping Yourself Heal When Someone Dies
- Helping Yourself Heal When Your Child Dies
- Helping Yourself Heal When Your Spouse Dies
- Helping Yourself Heal When a Parent Dies
- Helping Yourself When a Baby Dies
- Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season
- Helping Dispel 5 Common Myths About Grief
- Helping Yourself Live When You Are Seriously Ill
- Helping Yourself Live When You Are Dying
- Exploring the Uniqueness of Your Suicide Grief
- Healing Your Traumatized Heart: Seeking Safety, Understanding, and Peace Part 1
- Healing Your Traumatized Heart: Seeking Safety, Understanding, and Peace Part 2
- Healing Your Grieving Body: Physical Practices for Mourners
- The Spiritual Path to Healing: An Introduction
- The Spiritual Path to Healing: Mourning Ideas, Part 1
- The Spiritual Path to Healing: Mourning Ideas, Part 2
- The Spiritual Path to Healing: Mourning Ideas, Part 3
- The Spiritual Path to Healing: Mourning Ideas, Part 4
- Dispelling the Misconceptions About Suicide and Grief and Mourning
- The Capacity to Love Requires the Neccesity to Mourn
- Helping Yourself Heal When an Adult Sibling Dies
- Helping Your Family Heal After Stillbirth
- Healing Your Grief About Getting Older
- Embracing the Sadness of Grief
- Helping a Friend or Family Member After a Cancer Diagnosis
- When Your Soulmate Dies
Helping Others with Grief
One thing that many people ask us is “What do you write in a sympathy card?”
What to Write in a Sympathy Card
- Write down a memory or special quality you loved about the person that died.
- Share a way that they’ve changed your life or perhaps a way in which you plan to remember and honor them.
- Be truthful. If this is hard for you to write, say that. If you don’t know what to say but you just love them, say that. You can’t mess that up and your honesty will be treasured.
Just know that reaching out in this way is significant and meaningful. It doesn’t need to be elaborate or flowery. Sincere and from the heart – there’s nothing more meaningful than that.
What not to send or say in your card.
- Do not use the words “at least” ANYWHERE in your card.
- Do not make promises you cannot keep.
- If you do not intend to reach out to them, don’t say you are “here” for them. Grieving people have a well-developed radar for faux-support and that phrase is just that. Proactively reach out again and again with kind, helpful gestures like meals or checking-in with a phone call or text.
- Don’t say, “I’m sorry for your loss.” They have heard this phrase on repeat and it holds nothing of substance.
A friend has experienced the death of someone loved. How can you help? The following articles provide many practical suggestions for helping others with grief:
- The Misconception of the Funeral as a Rite of Closure
- Helping a Friend in Grief
- Helping a Man Who is Grieving
- Helping a Friend Who is Dying
- Helping a Friend Who is Seriously Ill
- Helping a Suicide Survivor Heal
- Helping a Homicide Survivor Heal
- Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving
- Helping a Grieving Friend in the Workplace
- Helping AIDS Survivors Heal
- Helping SIDS Survivors Heal
- Helping Your Family When a Member is Dying
- Helping Your Family When a Member is Seriously Ill
- Helping Your Family Cope When a Pet Dies
- Helping Your Family Decide if Organ and Tissue Donation is Right for You
- Helping a Friend or Family Member After a Cancer Diagnosis
- Helping Your Family Heal After Miscarriage
- Helping Yourself Heal When Someone You Care About Dies of a Drug Overdose
For and About Grieving Children and Teenagers
Children and teenagers have special needs following the death of a friend or family member. The following articles provide wonderful insight in helping children and teens understand and express their grief.
- Helping Children Cope with Grief
- Helping Teenagers Cope with Grief
- Helping Infants and Toddlers When Someone They Love Dies
- Helping Children with Funerals
- Helping Children Understand Cremation
- Helping a Child Who is Seriously Ill
- Helping a Child Who is Dying
- Helping Grieving Children at School
- Helping Bereaved Siblings Heal
- Finding the Right Words: Guidelines on how to talk to grieving children about death
Funerals, Memorials, Cremation and Related Topics
The days following the death of a loved one can be filled with sadness and confusion. The following articles can help you understand the importance of the rituals surrounding death.
- Helping Your Family Personalize the Funeral
- Helping Create a Meaningful Eulogy
- Ten Freedoms for Creating a Meaningful Funeral
- Why is the Funeral Ritual Important?
For Hospices and Other Caregivers
Caregivers have special needs of their own. The following articles are designed to help caregivers take care of themselves as well as those who are suffering from loss.
- Companioning the Bereaved: An Introduction
- Tenet 1: Companioning Principle
- Tenet 2: Companioning Principle
- The Awesome Power of “Telling The Story”: Why I’m Proud to be a Grief Counselor
- Caregiver as Gardener: A Parable
- Companioning vs. Treating: Beyond The Medical Model of Bereavement Caregiving
- Growing Through Grief: The Role of Support Groups
- Responding to Problems in the Support Group Setting
- The Bereavement Caregiver’s Self-Care Guidelines
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